My Dick is Bigger than Yours--WHY ARE YOU DROPPING YOUR PANTS!
by Perversions
Summary: Lance knows he's better than Keith in any way imaginable, even his dick. He doesn't need proof of it, but Keith apparently does. He's getting way more than he bargained for. (Read first Author's Note to see AO3 tags.)


**AN: this was posted on AO3 on 1/18/2017. all characters depicted are of age to have and consent to sex. based on a dreamwidth prompt. my works are rated M for a reason. if you're not 18+, i suggest you go back. i will not be held responsible because you decided to go click-hungry.**

 **AO3 tags: 69 (Sex Position), Fellatio, Dick measuring contest,** keith **isn't having any of this, and lance realizes how gay he is for** keith **, because who isn't,** klance

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"I'm telling you: my dick is bigger than Keith's. I saw him in the shower and it doesn't even compare to mine." Lance knows he's going to hear it from Shiro and Hunk later, but it's that time of day again. The time of day where he messes around with Keith just because he can. Everyone had their way of relieving stress while they were cooped up in the Castle of Lions. His way just happened to be doing this.

"Lance, this isn't proper dinner conversation," Shiro warned.

Even during the most inopportune times.

Leaning back in his seat, Lance grinned from ear to ear. "What? I think everyone should know. It's too tiring to go around the whole castle to find everyone. Telling you all at dinner is the next best thing."

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Keith's eye twitch. It's been a long time since Keith had bothered to react to anything he had to say. All his jabs and insults bounced off him as if it didn't bother him in the first place. Lance could see it, though, in the way Keith's shoulders stiffened or in the way he sucked air through his teeth. The others were wearing similar expressions to Keith, but he only cared about the one person: his target .

Leaning closer to the Red Paladin, he prodded him with his elbow. "Come on, Keith. Tell them! Tell them all about the size of my amazing dick."

"I wouldn't know. I'd need a magnifying glass to see it."

The table burst out in shouts and laughter from Hunk and Pidge. Allura rolled her eyes and continued to eat her dish, wanting to ignore what hadjust happened. Shiro promised Coran that he would explain later (or never). Lance, with his face red, ate in silence. Keith won this one, but he wasn't going to give up. Not by a long shot.

It was after dinner that Lance continued. He stood in the training deck, following Keith's movements with interest as he fought the Gladiator . Close combat is different than long range. Way in the back, Lance has some chance to escape if an enemy with a sword or some other blunt object comes hurtling towards him . Keith has to think with his wits and react as fast as possible. It's admirable, but that's not what Lance is here for.

"Come on, Keith," Lance says, grinning. "I know you were just covering up for your shortcomings back at dinner. Let's just call it even and you admit that my dick is bigger. No hard feelings will come between us forming Voltron."

Keith stops just as he finishes off the Gladiator. "End training sequence." He turns to Lance, dropping his bayard. "Let's end this once and for all."

It's Keith lowering his pants that has Lance blushing and fumbling over his words. "Dude, what are you doing?!"

"You started this dick measuring contest. We're going to see who's bigger here and now."

Lance can't believe this is happening, but he's not about to let Keith one up him. Taking his belt, he undoes it hurriedly , dropping them and his underwear down to his ankles. Keith has just gotten his underwear down past his cock. "See? What'd I tell ya? I'm bigger."

Raising an eyebrow, Keith scoffs. "You think that's enough? Everyone knows it only matters when you're hard."

"What?! That's not happening now." Not in front of Keith.

When he stepped forward, Lance stepped back. "And why not?" The grip on his arm was tight but the hand on his dick was soft. "What are you so afraid of? Afraid that I'll actually have a bigger dick than you?"

Lance moaned and grabbed Keith's dick. "Dude, why are you acting so gay right now?!"

"Shut up." Keith's thumb stroked at the tip of his dick and he tried to bite back a moan. "You're saying that, but look at you. Your growing hard pretty fast in my hand."

This was not happening. He wasn't getting a handjob from Keith and being owned by it, either. But it was happening and he had no idea where his mind should be. Lance feels like it should be on boats, anything to keep his dick from getting harder, but that's not happening. His mind is too focused on the hand stroking his rapidly hardening cock. Swallowing the lump around his throat, he looks down and watches. Watches as Keith strokes him in long and slow strokes.

Shit , he's so screwed.

"Look at you. Just one stroke and you're lost on yourself," Keith says. "The girls must have loved you, getting all limp just from getting your cock stroked. I bet you can't even move right now, can you?"

That spurs him on. Lance reaches for Keith's cock again, unaware that he had even let go, and strokes him in return. "I'll show you!"

Keith's moans shouldn't sound this good, but they do. He's focused on that flushed face now, focused on how Keith bites his lip and closes his eyes. Pressing his thumb into his slit pulls a moan out from him and Lance bucks his hips. The grip on him tightens and he fucks harder into it. This was so wrong, but it felt so good.

"Stop," Keith commands, smacking Lance's hand away. He pulls his own hand back and steps forward. Their cocks press against each other, and he wraps a hand around them both. "See, mine is bigger."

"Like hell it is!" Lance snaps. "Mine is way bigger than yours!"

Keith snorts, sticking his nose up in the air. "Fine, but skills are a lot better than whether or not your dick is bigger."

"Oh yeah? Well, name it! I bet I can beat you at it."

The smirk that comes on Keith's face makes Lance a little worried about what's going to happen next. Seeing Keith falling to his knees is not what he's expected. In fact, it wasn't even on the list of things that could happen right now. Keith's fingers on his dick is definitely not on the list, but there he is, hand stroking his cock once more.

"Let's see you beat me in this then."

That's all he says before he takes Lance into his mouth. Lance tosses his head back, staring up at the ceiling as Keith takes him in deep . The tip of his cock hits the back of his throat and Lance's mind has gone blank . How did they end up like this? It only started as a joke! Just something to tease Keith about and that's all. He hadn't signed up to get his dick sucked by his fellow paladin.

But he's not complaining. In fact, he's already grabbing the back of Keith's head, trying to push further into the tight, wet heat. There's not much further he can go, though. Keith digs his fingers into the top of his thighs and he lets go. He pulls of with a shameless slurp, his lips wet and puffy. Lance can't imagine a time he's ever used the word beautiful for Keith besides right here, right now.

"Well?" he asks, an eyebrow raised.

He exhales hard through his nose and stares Keith down. There's no way he could let Keith beat him; not like this . "Please. I can beat you in a dick sucking contest any day!"

"Lay down, then."

It's an order and Lance doesn't want to listen to him. It felt good to have Keith's mouth, though. When was the last time he felt good physically ? Not since a few months before they left the Garrison. When he got that threesome with-

No, he tries not to think about it, because Keith's mouth feels way better than anything those two could give him. After a moment of hesitation, Lance lays back, resting on his elbows. His eyes never leave Keith as he crawls around him and straddles his head. A flushed cock hovers over his face and he gulps hard. It looks…

"Cute," he whispers, hot breath brushing over it.

"What was that?" Keith asks, looking at him from between their bodies. "Did you just call my cock cute ?"

"Shut up! I didn't say anything like that!"

"Make me."

There's no hesitation on Lance's part as he tangles his fingers through Keith's hair and moves him closer to his cock. "Start sucking if you think you're so good at it!"

"Gladly." Keith pulls him into his mouth and sucks hard.

Lance's legs shake as Keith bobs his head up and down, his fingers curled around the base of his dick. He hasn't had his dick sucked in so long . His hips push up into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat with each thrust. Each suck is driving him mad, making him almost forget why they were laying like this. Maybe it's a blessing that he's decided to tease Keith about this particular thing.

A hand squeezes his thigh and he's brought back to his senses. This is a competition, he reminds himself. Those words in his head spur him on as he grips Keith's cock and sucks the tip in. There's something about the taste that's absolutely Keith in every way. He tongues the slit, drawing moans out that vibrate through his own cock. It's something he does again to feel that vibration once more and buck his hips into Keith's face.

Keith pulls off him and licks along his cock down to his balls. "Come on. You can do better than that."

It bothers him that Keith is so collected during this. Lance grabs his hips, pushing his dick further into his mouth. The sounds he hears are a symphony. Keith fucks into his mouth, shallow thrusts that force Lance to relax his throat. Feeling a mouth around his own dick, he moves his hips, returning the favor.

Time becomes a blur as they keep pleasuring each other. The idea that they could be caught at any moment is lost to them. Lance admits to himself that he's doing more moaning than sucking at this point. Keith's mouth is like magic and he just wants to be enveloped in it for the rest of his life.

He still has Keith's dick halfway in his mouth, shallow thrusts driving it in deeper before pulling away. Lance hates being this much of a mess fromjust getting his dick sucked. And by Keith , no less. It makes his mind wander to other things. Like how things might be if they would go further. If he's just as rough in bed as he is on the battlefield. How Keith might take him and how it'd be like if he was whispering in his ear.

"Whoa," Keith whispers. He strokes Lance's cock, chuckling at the little whimpers he's starting to give out. "You gonna cum yet?"

Lance bites his lip, wanting to not answer that. "Y-yeah…"

"Then go ahead and do it."

Keith swallows him whole all the way down to the root and Lance is gone . His whole body tightens as he bucks into his mouth, cumming deep down his throat. He slumps on the floor of the training room, his short breaths brushing over Keith's still hard cock.

Sitting up straight, Keith grabs his own cock and rubs it against Lance's cheek. "I'm not there yet, you know."

Lance opens his mouth wide, his brain completely shut down to making any snide remarks. Keith pushes himself deep into his mouth and groans when he weakly tongues him. "Fuck yeah." He fucked into his mouth, hands braced on Lance's abs. "You're doing a good job. Keep it up."

He swears his dick is starting to get hard again with Keith's praise. Lance makes more of an attempt to suck him off, encouraging to fuck his face hard. Keith obliges, his moans echoing in the training room. He's not ready for the amount Keith comes and he chokes on it for a moment, some of it leaking out the sides of his mouth.

Keith pulls away and he coughs, trying to catch his breath. It's gone the moment he has it because Keith is kissing him, licking his face clean of his cum. When he pulls away, Keith is all smiles, a knowing look in his eyes.

"I guess I win, huh?" Keith asks, an eyebrow raised.

Lance isn't one to admit defeat. Not in this and not to Keith. "I want a rematch!"

"Maybe later if you're lucky."

Oh, Lance would make sure he would get his rematch.

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 **AN: since this is an old fanfic, i didn't bother cleaning it up. i had sworn off THIS PLACE, but i decided to give it a try again. feel free to check me out on twitter (perversionsao3) or on (perversions).**


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